On meditation … SL style

One of the many and varied things that fascinates me about Second Life is the choices people make in how to spend their time on the grid.  Within days of arriving in SL, some three or so years ago, I discovered a fairly robust Buddhist culture.  And the most amazing part of it is that they gather to meditate.  For months, I tried this out.  I would go and sit in a room with other avatars, listen to the chimes, settle in … and then an IM would pop in.  Or another av, late to the party, would rez in and distract me.  Or I’d notice that the chick in front of me had really great hair and then I just had to perv it and find out where it was from.  I could never settle in to do the work of meditation.  Eventually, the whole exercise became absurd.  How could I possibly meditate rl when I was being called to what was happening sl?  An av can’t meditate, so why did I have mine sitting quietly for 30 minutes in a room somewhere?  And if I really wanted to practice meditation, why in heaven’s name would I do it in front of a computer?  Maybe I’m missing the point.  Maybe the whole point is striving to focus on nothing (or one simple thing) in the middle of the chaos that SL can be.

My hat’s off to those (and I know there are some) who are committed to the practice inworld.  They have created some beautiful and calming sims and offer regular sittings and the occasional talk or discussion.  As for me, if I want to meditate, I’ll stay in real life.

Thanks to my amazing friend Shayne Karillion of Black Karbon for the Buddha, mat, and meditation cushion (with poses).  You rock.  Tat is “Black Pearl” from Para Designs.

Samsara

Second Life is my personal investigation of Samsara, the continuous flow, the constant cycle of birth, life, death, rebirth.  I live a Second Life, die a small death, transfer to the ether for a time, and return in search of reinvention.  For over three years I have lived this cycle.  My newest birth has begun.

I wandered into Fallen Gods one afternoon in search of … something.  Perhaps a window into roleplay (a sort of double rebirth), perhaps a complete reinvention of self, perhaps merely a second skin to slip into when the first one feels dry.

It took no more than minutes to see him:  a lustrous dark figure, silver markings mimicking the faint shimmer in his coal black hair.  His power was palpable; his looks divine.  I was mesmerized.  I had to ask, had to know if Fallen Gods had provided his beautiful, obsidian skin.

With more than a touch of trepidation, I clicked on his figure, opened his profile, and began a message to him.  I only wanted to know about his skin, but I couldn’t help telling him … he was sexy as hell.  And he turned out to be just as charming.  Directing me to the skin, we discussed roleplay and he told me that while he has a “normal” look, he enjoys this one, usually considering it a transition to something more feline, panther-like.  That oozed sexuality to me; a sleek mask of dominance.  His aura bewitched me and I wanted nothing more than to be a part of that.

Though we spoke only minutes, we were friends before he left.  I set out to create my own persona, my desire to connect to that primal essence from which he seemed to draw.

Enrobed in my black skin, I went under the needle, connecting via henna to ancient traditions that celebrate rebirth.

I feel alive.  I feel primal.  I feel seductive and sensual.

I haven’t seen my inspiration man again.  His name sits on my list, his presence and thoughts eluding me.  Maybe one day we can wander this rainforest together.  Or maybe it’s enough that he showed me the path.

Skin:  OBSYDIANNxx NEUTRAL natural  +Fallen Gods Inc.+

Tattoo:  Mehndi Goddess, Full body, Fresh - *Essential Soul*

Location:  Dark Moon Jungle Rainforest

Everything Ends

A return to SL.  A brand new beginning.  And already, an ending.  This is for you.

Meet me on the Equinox
Meet me halfway
The sun is perched at its highest peak
In the middle of the day

Let me give my love to you
Let me take your hand
As we walk in the dimming light
Oh, darling understand

That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything ends

Meet me on your best behavior
Meet me at your worst
For there will be no stone unturned
Or bubble left to burst

Let me lay beside you, darling
Let me be your man
And let our bodies intertwine
But always understand

That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything, everything ends

A window
An opened tomb
The sun crawls across your bedroom
A halo
A waning moon
Your last breaths moving through you

As everything, everything ends
As everything, everything ends
As everything, everything, everything,
everything, everything, everything ends

Meet me on the Equinox
Meet me halfway
When the sun is perched at its highest peak
In the middle of the day

Let me give my love to you
Let me take your hand
As we walk in the dimming light
Oh, darling understand

That everything, everything ends

Bus Stop

I had to catch a bus the other day.  My car was in the shop and all my friends were being shits.  I knew I could get a ride home from work … what self respecting female bartender can’t … but getting out there, well, the bus would have to do.  It was late, as usual.  I mean, really, really late.  I got bored.  Who says men are the only ones who do it at every opportunity?

Hair:  Vixen Hair Apple in Raspberry

Skin: Eye Candi Natalie Ladybug (from MoMo SL Hunt)

Tat:  Essential Soul Studios Mehndi Goddess (see LM policy)

Top:  Shush (top only) from Strapped Doll Outfit (FTLO Halloween Hunt)

Shoes:  Stiletto Moody Bare Lucille

Bus Stop Prop:  Props n Poses

 

Color Challenge: Teal

She wandered in the forest searching for water.  It had been a long day of hiding in the trees, waiting for the beast to go back into his cave for the night.  She knew he could smell her.  She only hoped that the fires the men made would confuse his senses long enough.  A sense of relief washed over her as she made it to the small ravine, drank all that she could, and turned to head back to safety.  That sense of safety was short lived as she felt sharpness at the base of her neck.  But it wasn’t the beast.  It was a man.

 

Tattoo:  Fallen Gods Mithril (comes with Captive post)

Hair: Nomine Louise

Color Challenge: Red

Yeah, so I’m super behind.  That’s the way these things go.  Doubt you can be disappointed though, with a kick ass tat from Essential Soul Studio and some Stiletto Moody heels.

 

I met a man

Lauren has a man.  Ash has a man.  And I met a man last night.  I picked him up in the alley outside the bar.  He was there for a smoke; I was there for him.  I first noticed him at the bar drinking Absolut and Red Bull, which immediately said he was my kind of guy.  He was alone and it looked like he wanted to stay that way.  I wasn’t alone, but I wanted to be.  The man sitting with me had been buying me tequila for an hour.  I was sober; he needed a cab.

I saw my target speak to the bartender and go out the side door.  I summoned the bartender, “If I give you a $50, will you call this guy a cab?”  He nodded and swiped my $50.  I hopped off my stool and sauntered into the alley.  There was my guy, leaning against the graffiti covered stage door with the street lamp highlighting his mohawk.  He looked my way.  ”You’ve been staring at me all night,” I said.  He considered that thought a moment.  ”Nope.  But I should have been.”  He was definitely the silent type, but we eventually got around to names (his is Caleb) and before too long, his hands were right where I wanted them ….

We went back into the bar and had a few more drinks.  And then came that moment that’s usually uncomfortable.  You know that moment.  You’re both ready to leave and that decision has to be made:  go home alone, invite him to your place, wait for him to invite you to his, run to that seedy motel across the street, or just fuck in the car.  When we reached that moment, Caleb said, “Leave your car, we’ll come back for it tomorrow.”  That should have been my first clue that man-of-few-words meant silent meant strong-silent meant dominant.  But I hadn’t made that leap yet.

Caleb didn’t have a car; he had a motorcycle.  We hopped on and got to his place in 10 minutes flat.  We had barely gotten through the door when he started kissing me … stripping me … forcefully.  The quiet guy from the bar became demanding and forceful.  When I was down to my bra and panties I backed off.  ”Hold it, dude.”  He just came toward me.  I walked to the other side of the room.  He followed.  He got in front of me.  I turned, tripped.  He knelt and grabbed me from behind.  I wrenched around and tried to hold him off ….

“Relax, girl.”  Something in his eyes took my resolve.  I let him push my leg to the side.  He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me up, reaching around to unhook and remove my bra.  He laid me back down.  ”Take your panties off for me.”  I obliged and tossed them to the side.  His eyes roved over me for a moment.  ”Stay here.”

He was gone just a moment and when he returned he was carrying a length of rope.  He stood in front of me, “On your knees.”  I didn’t move.  He stared hard into my eyes.  ”I said on your knees.”  I followed his command.  He walked around behind me and used the rope to bind my wrists.  I turned my head to try and watch him and followed his movements as he walked back around in front of me.  He grabbed my hair and said, “Now the real fun starts.”

I promised Caleb I’d stop there.  But stay tuned.  I hope we’ll have more adventures.  And I do kiss and tell.

Sick Day

I’m having a sick day.  I woke up with a headache and stuffy nose and just that general malaise.  A good lounge was in order …

Resting on Cheeky Pea's Manflu Lounger

It didn’t take too long, however, before it was time to turn out the lights and sleep.  I usually sleep on my side.  And I usually sleep topless, if not completely in the buff.  I hope I fall asleep soon.  That chicken soup should help.

Dragonflies

I can remember the first time a dragonfly landed on me.  I was 12 and had been looking for honeysuckle in the forbidden woods; the woods where those boys were said to have taken that girl, chained her to a tree, and beaten her to death.  I wondered how bad those woods could really be if dragonflies lived there.  From then on, they’ve been my talisman.  If a dragonfly crosses my path, I know I’m on the right track, I feel a sense of calm, my joy can be restored.

Without realizing it, Saraid Dalglish of The Mad Hattery (incidentally one of my favorite stores in SL), brought joy to my impossibly hopeless day today when she laid this on her group ….

 

The Mad Hattery: Baroque Inspired Hat in Green and Gold ... Group Gift

And there, right in front, is a dragonfly.  We have snow on the ground here in Alabama, where the official removal system consists of a bag of sand and a guy with a shovel.  He hasn’t made it to my street yet.  Which means I can’t get to the store where my daily ration of chocolate resides.  Saraid, without knowing it, saved me with a new dragonfly.  I added her hat to a fairly new addition to my tat wardrobe and hopped onto some balloons from Baffle ….

I was getting tired, so I pulled up a chaise from {what next} to show you the rest of the tat from Demonic ….

I think I’m going to take a hot bath.  With lots of bubbles.  And dream of Spring, when this snow will be gone, the man with the shovel will be out of a job, and the dragonflies will be back.

He got me

We had a deal.  I had rules; I would follow them.  Breaking them had consequences and I knew this.  But I got cocky.  I pushed the limits.  I took advantage of his tolerance, his kindness, his patience.  And then he chose to prove who was in charge.

It was OK at first.  I like being bound.  Granted, the duct tape on my mouth was uncomfortable.  I knew how much it would hurt when he yanked it off.  But the binding was nice; even being caged was livable.  But then he turned the lights off …

… and he left me.  He knows how I panic when he leaves.  I don’t just love him.  I need him.  I have to have him.  And he knows it.